Ok, I bet you’re wondering- “Why is there a picture of feet at the top of this post?” I totally get it. It’s an odd thing to post. But there is a method to my madness. This is a picture of my feet. My toes are covered with a nail polish that looks like liquid gold in the sunlight. My feet are resting on a patio chair in my back yard garden as I spent time breathing in the warm mid spring air. I had coffee beside me on my patio table and all around me birds flew and tweeted at one another. Bees, some big and fat others small and compact, buzzed around as they took nourishment from all the wonderful plants and flowers that are starting to bloom in my neck of the woods. As I sat there, with a heavy mind and heart, a stunning flash caught my eye and I noticed the glitter in my nail polish. Such a little thing, silly even, yet this noticing of something sparkly, pretty, and simple, knocked me out of my train of thought- a cycle of remorse, frustration, sadness, and even anger- all fruitless in my current situation- and I found myself in a moment of bliss. It was in this moment that I once again realized that I needed to find balance to get myself back on track and that all I needed to do was to choose to pay attention to all the little things.
Balance
Life isn’t easy. We all have our issues, our blocks, our struggles. As a coach, I work with people as they try to overcome theirs in order to achieve success at whatever goals they have set for themselves. One of the biggest problems, or blocks, I come across as a coach, is that people get mired in their negative thought cycles and become unable to free themselves and find something to balance their frustration. What I mean by balance is that in every block, in every struggle, in every problem and issue we have, there are other things floating around. Often, though not always, there are silver linings, lessons, something tangibly positive that results from the struggles we suffer. Always, though, there are things that exist within the same time and space as your conflict but are totally separate from it.
Within the story of my situation- the struggle I have, the conflict in which I am rooted, is creating a rut and I find myself losing ground because I am caught in this negative cycle. Imagine wheels spinning in the mud. I’m on my path, I have my goals, but I’m confounded by my problem and my wheels are spinning, digging deep ruts into the path, making forward motion and action really difficult if not impossible. If I keep digging this rut, hyper-focused only on the block and how it’s hurting me or how I can’t seem to fix the problem, I can eventually spin myself off path. This is almost always detrimental to moving forward toward goals we set for ourselves. We become hopeless, stuck, and may give up. So what helps? How can we stop the pointless spinning? One way is by giving ourselves permission to stop and notice something else.
Choose something else….
In my case, this morning, my “something else” was the flash of my toe nails in the sun and it stopped me in my tracks. My brain, for a split second, captivated by the glitter reflecting the sun. I could have decided in that moment to ignore it and get right back to my spinning- I may not be getting anywhere but it becomes pretty comfortable after a while. I don’t WANT to become comfortable in my rut. So, I chose something else. I stretched out my legs and wiggled my toes, allowed myself to be captivated by the glittering affect. I did the same thing with my fingernails. I saw liquid gold and it was so pretty. By allowing myself this small pleasure, I naturally began to notice so many other beautiful things existing in the same moment as my struggles. The birds, the bees, the colors, the smells, the soft breeze, the warmth of the sun on my bare legs. By acknowledging these wonderful, amazing little things, and holding space with them as they exist within the same moment of my conflict, I was able to stop my negative thought cycle. By choosing something else, I was able to pivot just enough to become productive in my process.
Make the choice
Coaching is nothing if not about making choices. In order for coaching to be effective you must choose- your goals, your actions, to be accountable, to never give up, to overcome, to change, to notice. Every bad cycle we find ourselves mired in can be broken if you CHOOSE to break it. We spend so much mental energy spinning our wheels we forget about all the little things that can help us productively problem solve instead. If you find yourself stuck in a negative thought cycle, choose to notice one of the wonderful little things that are happening around you. Take a breath and notice. Listen. Feel. Breathe. Allow yourself to live among those little things for a while until you can look at your problem with fresh eyes.
No, this won’t immediately solve whatever the block is but it can help you gain fresh perspective. It can help you return to the issue at hand with some calm, joy, and peace. Draw comfort from the knowledge that there are so many wonderful, little things happening all around you even while you are working hard to overcome something difficult in the exact moment.
If you’re interested in working through blocks and negative thought cycles, coaching could be for you! I help people work toward goals and overcome blocks that have prevented them from living their best life. Contact me HERE if you’d like to set up a free 20 minute consultation. You can also email me at crystalclearholisticcoach@gmail.com or on Facebook.
Remember, notice all those little things. It’s a great first step.